My new toy

I've always love to be ahead of technology...well, not really. I mean, I love to be ahead of this gadget thing. Today, I received my second macbook and this time is a macbook pro. I was thinking.. you can never catchup with these laptops. When you buy a very expensive laptop, in a few years, it will be cheap and there's no more thrill having it. So when will you achieve your satisfaction? The answer is "never". I know it but it still doesn't bother me to get this new machine. When I was about to buy a new laptop (when I lost my laptop in the lab during my PhD years), my supervisor, Ian said "get a mac and you'll never switch back". I do believe there is some truth in it...because although mac is hardly used in my university and it is a bit difficult to work back and forth from one machine to another when everyone uses microsoft, I still find mac irresistible due to its beautiful interface and slick keyboard. It is true when someone says "mac is like a mercedes" to me and I smiled, feeling satisfied! So tonight I am typing on my new machine and happy, feeling like a little girl getting her new toy! It is funny when you realize that the girl in you will always be there and it feels good to have that little girl in there - Makes you feel young and lively, isn't it. For the next few days/months,

I hope to enjoy this new toy and discover a whole new horizon, insya'Allah. Remember when you were young..how long can your new toy last? I remember my dolls ... they usually end up under the bed or hidden somewhere forgotten... But well, I hope this one will last very very long... and I can see some eyes are already watching closely.....

My Trip to Medan

My mother has a sister in Medan. I was browsing the internet and suddently had a idea..why don't I take my mom to visit her sister. It is my intention to make her happy and to please her always. For children to please a mom is an easy task. More often that not, we are too busy to please them although a phone call is easy to make and would make them very happy. Everytime when we call her, she will tell others about it. My mom - she will never ask for anything. Whenever I go any where and ask her what she wants, she will say.. "nothing. I only want you to be safe". May Allah bless my mom for being so kind to us. So that is why I decided to take her and my sister to see my aunt in Medan.

It was a good flight. My regret was only that I did not request for a wheel chair for mom. She said it is alright for her to walk and not to worry. I forgot that my mom will never ask.. she would say ok until it is too much to take. When we reach there, my aunt was already waiting. We stayed at her place as a gesture of respect and of course, it would mean saving lots of money and perhaps spending the money saved on shopping ;-)

Medan is not like Bandung. It is not heaven for shoppers. There was not many choices and there were too many walking-the-street sellers selling all sorts of goodies to you. It was rather annoying but I guess, the style was everywhere in Indonesia. You just have to make the most of it and look at the bright side. Which bright side? I don't have the answer!

It is good to take Amir to Medan. The time when we were about to go to the airport for our departure, we saw chidren, ages 5-12 begged on the street. They knocked car windows and ask for money. We watched from afar as they did not come to our window. THey tried their luck while the traffic lights were still on red. Amir watched. I hope he realised that not many children are as lucky as he is. I know he had seen it on TV but never on real life. It should be an eye opening event for him.

I guess Amir experienced lot so things.. things he take for granted are actually not available for many people there. You can see that people are striving for their living. In the area that we stayed - many houses are converted into a shop. They will do just about anything - according to their specialization, of course! When we reach there, Amir's first question was "Is there any cyber cafes?" I thought the answer would probably be "NO" but to my surprise, there are!!! Of course, my aunt and auntie do not know about these cyber cafes but Amir roamed around. He found so many cyber cafes around the vicinity. In fact, the nearest was only about 300meters away. So Amir killed his luxurious time at the nearby cyber cafes playing his games. And it was very cheap... only around 3000 rupiahs about RM1 per hour.

Well.. i did not let him spend too much time playing games. Most of the time, he'll be at home with us including spending his time, talking to my uncle. My uncle is a real scientist. He is an old man in his late 60s or early 70s. I forgot to ask about his age. There was a picture of him when he was still a baby in his dad's arm. He has the Pangeran Deponegoro's blood (the ??th generation) - the Javanese warrior who fights against the Dutch. He told us his stories... how he went to school and the parents spoke dutch at home but was never taught dutch. So when he was young, he can understand but cannot speak the language. Now, he forgot the language because not many indonesians speaks dutch anymore. He told us the difference between the dutch and the british colonies. How they ruled the country and how they treated the people. The dutches took almost everything and left them with nothing. Not even knowledge! They make the people feel like they can't do anything and that they should rely on other people. I believe many successful Indonesians are those who realise the trick and believe that they should improve. I believe my uncle is one of them. He is a famacist and is very knowledgable about chemicals and herbal medicine. I envy him for his knowledge and admire his passion for reading. Amazing man! Amir was impressed too!

Nowadays, although the country is rather poor in general, but the people are working very hard. They are very creative. If you go to their shops, you can see all sorts of fashion, for children or adults. I was really amazed of the designs that they come out with. Very fashionable and stylish and they have them matched in terms of color and fabric from head to toe. Yes.. they are quite fashionable people. But of course, the taste of fashion is a bit different in Malaysia. But in general, I believe they are very creative people.

I guess the best part for everyone was Danau Toba. The lake is huge. You can't see the other side of the lake - 100 by 30kms. It was created when there was a supervolcanic eruption which happens around 70,000 years ago. That is what people say. In the middle of it, is Samosir island. We rode the public ferry because it was cheaper but I regreted because as for other public transportations in Indonesia, you cannot expect much from them. I just can't stand the dangdut music that was too loud. Other passengers were enjoying it I guess! They didn't look like they suffer much like I was! Yes, dangdut can kill me ;-(

To me, the best part of the trip was the food. We were usually served with food cooked by my cousin. She is a lawyer and has a firm there. She practised law with her husband. THey are doing very well, in fact! Before going to work, she will cook for us. Oh.. I love the food. She can cook the Minang style or the Batak style. I don't ask much when I love the food because I will keep myself busy with eating and enjoying the provision Allah keep for me. If I don't like the food, I will eat less and talk more ;-)

The night of the departure, they sent us to the airport. The airport was small and they can't go in and we had to say goodbye at the door. We hugged each other and was really satisfied with the hospitality that was given to us. Not many people would allow others to interupt their lives for 5 days and constantly entertaining us. We hugged each other and say good bye. Although I did not buy much and had limited time shopping (which I wish I was given more time or the shopping malls are bigger), I was happy as I believe I have made my mom happy. Isn't that what this trip is all about? And I saw my mom was smiling while walking to the plane! Gosh! I wish I had requested the wheel chair this time!!

ANGRY ANYONE? JOIN THE CLUB!!

I am very angry at the moment. Someone had just gone overboard. Some people can be very insensitive with other people's feeling that they only think of themselves. It is easy to live your live with yourself only without having to worry about anything else in the world. Go ahead.. live with ownself, your hobby.. your favourite stuff.. your preferred style.. see if anyone cares. But is it the a good way of life? Shouldn't we call it IRRESPONSIBLE!!! If only I can shout very loudly onto the person's ears so that the person will wake up to realise that there are others who's life was effected by the actions.

It is easy to get angry but to calm down, takes a long time.. sometimes almost FOREVER. But the prophet says that a strong man is not those who wrestle well, but those who can prevent themselves from getting angry. So I concluded that I am not that strong. However, I think I will swallow my anger for the time being. See how things improve!!!!

May Allah give me strength.. AMEEN

Giving Charity

I am feeling rather sad as Ramadhan is leaving. Perhaps many of us feel secure that Ramadhan will come again next year but will it, in our lifetime? As we can't predict or should I ask if the advance technology can ever predict the time when our soul leaves the body? I don't think so. Anyway, it is good to do good deeds while you are still alive and one of them is giving charity - which shouldn't wait. Some people wait until they die and put in their will that some of the wealth goes to charity. That is ok too but it is better to do it now and then.

Giving charity is quite complicated. At times, you are tested and do not know whether to give or not to give. For example, while you are eating at a comfortable restaurant, someone came to you and ask for money. He looked perfectly well. Should you give or should you not? You might want to keep your integrity by giving some money and the only change in your pocket is RM50 and a 50cent coin. What should you do?

Yes.. when Allah tell us to give charity, He said, "[9:60] Charities(Sadaqaat) shall go to the poor, the needy, the workers who collect them, the new converts, to free the slaves, to those burdened by sudden expenses, in the cause of Allah, and to the traveling alien. Such is GOD's commandment. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise". He did not mentioned the situations and how much should you give. But then, He sent his messenger as to guide us to do good. Our belover prophet, Muhammad (pbuh) never turn down any appeal for help. He would help and give charity without worrying having less. Can we not do the same?

Recently I heard a nice talk by Aagym, who gave this scenario. You are at a traffic light. A man came to you and ask for money. You adviced him, "Why don't you work and take care of your own living". The man grumbled and said that if you do not want to give, just keep your mouth shut. Then he went to the other car and ask for money. The man gave him some money. When the beggar left, you asked the man, "Why did you give him money". He said, "I heard that the prophet never turn down anyone's request, that is why I gave". Then you said proudly, "I give charity, in a form of advice". The man smiled and said, "Good but is it not better for you to give him some money first, and then give an advice". That way, he'll listen!

So the moral of the story is not to turn down any request of those who needs your help if you want to follow the sunnah.

Abdullah bin Mas’ud reported that the prophet S.A.S said, “There are three kinds of people who are loved by Allah, a man who gets up at night to read the Quran, a man who gives alms with his right hand so secretly that he conceals it from his left hand , and a man in a battalion who encounters an enemy when his companions are routed.”(the one who fights in the cause of Allah and shows courage and steadfastness)

Abu Hurayrah reported that the prophet S.A.S said, ” Charity is incumbent upon every human limb everyday. Bringing peace between two contending people is charity, helping a person to mount a camel or loading his baggage for him is charity, every step taken towards a mosque is charity, and removing anything from a roadway that causes an inconvenience is also charity.”

So what's the verdict. Should you give that RM50 or the 50cent? If you want it to come back in manifolds, which one would give you more? See, our Math can be deceiving!

Allah knows best.

O Allah.. I am submitting willingly

The noise of this busy life urges me to escape,

Searching for a place where my mind can be heard,

Where silence is a pearl kept hidden in its shell,

My path to that seclusion is a wondrous journey, I can tell.

Where can I find a serene place as a get-away,

When movements are stillness moving through time all day,

Crying aloud to You and begging You as I may,

That is my intention You know well without say,

For You are The Most High, created men from clay.

But all I could do is work – one task after another,

Not having time to pause and reflect but to continue no matter,

I ask myself if this is what my life is, forever and ever?

Until I meet You and realize my time is over.

O Allah, You test us with things to see if we persevere

Don't be sad, You said and do not fear,

Have we failed Your test as that can be a disaster,

We live with Your Mercy and kindness but Your wrath we most fear,

Your heaven is highly exquisite but Your hell is most severe,

Please take us away from Your anger and we'll repent over and over,

For today we promise to be good but our desire can always steer.

O Allah, they said life is nothing but negligence - is a sure thing,

Those sparkling and illuminating are all deceiving,

Tell me what is unreal and what is attainable - seems confusing,

For I do not know where my road is actually heading,

I wish for days where every moment is exhilarating,

I am crying for help as the evening dusk is approaching,

The night is embracing the day and the light is fading,

Time and time again my clock is ticking,

I am begging You and begging You again,

Help me O Allah, to You I am whispering,

Be close to You, to submit, I am willing.

"And all things in the heavens and the earth, willingly and unwillingly prostrating to Him (in obedience)" Quran,13:15.

An Unforgettable Independence Day...

There's nothing much to this Independence Day.. not that it is not that important but something of a greater magnitude is here, the Ramadhan month. Indeed, as it has been highlighted, Ramadhan is the best thing that can happen to us and having the Lailatul Qadar is even greater. As Ramadhan is a month where you busy yourself with your worship to God, some of the common activities are a bit neglected. So who cares if your house is abit messy, who cares if you can't prepare a great meal, who cares if you don't have time to prepare for the Eid - nobody cares. The most important is to optimise our time to do what all muslims should busy themselves with - the worshipping acts. "O Allah, have I done my best? What more should I do now? Please guide me, O my Lord.... help me to get Your blessings and mercy and to attain your forgiveness before Ramadhan went away. O Lord, Please give me more time.. " I repeatedly plead to Allah.

Every night usually we sleep quite late. Last night I was listening to a very inspiring talk by someone from Muamalat Bank who was talking about the miracle of charity. Then I dozed off.... and at around 4am, I woke up with a group of men including the police at my bedroom door. I thought they were thieves - but looking at the policeman, I believe there must be something wrong. We were dumbstruck when we discovered that our house was broken into.. we all went down and talk to the policemen and the neighbourhood security guys - Alhamdulillah...nothing was stolen as our next door neighbour came back just on time and saw a man getting out of my house. It was a trial to see if they can get in and indeed they got in after getting a key from the table near the sliding door. But they did not have enough time to do anything.

Subhanallah.. Allah is great! He protected us as He promised that if we sleep after reciting His holy verses, He will send His angles to guard the house - and indeed, we were protected. I had my handbag downstairs but nothing was taken. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds.

Abu al-‘Abbas ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbas, radiyallahu anhuma, reported: One day I was behind the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, and he said to me:

He said, ""O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you (have need to) ask, ask of Allah; and if you seek help, seek help from Allah. Know that even if the Nation (or the whole community) were to gather together to benefit you with something, they would not benefit you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with something, they would not be able to harm you with anything except that which Allah has already recorded against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried."


So on this Independence Day - 31 August 2010, I feel the highes of greatfulness to my Lord.. repeatedly I say and mean it in my heart..."O Allah, praise be to You... Praise be to You for having the independence and feeling of security and having provision under Your great protection." Allahu Akbar!!

A Quick Getaway....

My Swansea Sheikh reminded us of our flight.. that we are now on a journey - we are on a plane taking off and perhaps now we are among the clouds - travelling to a final destination. How long and short the journey is... Allah knows best.

Not many have the chance to travel and being able to get away from all the hassle and bustle of life is a great blessing. However, it is not so good to do it during Ramadhan, but at time, you can't help it especially when you unintentionally booked. Well, everything happens for good reasons.

I had the chance to go to Bandung.. a very nice old town in Indonesia. I don't know what to expect.. I believe good and bad are everywhere - "Ebony and Ivory", the good old song of the 80’s, remember? How long ago was that - I don't know and who's counting the years? I love Bandung for its old sturdy trees - they look serene and very welcoming, Masya'Allah.

Tourism is highly recommended by Islam. Allah asked us to travel through the earth to take lessons from the other people that came before us. People travel to gain knowledge, learn about history of others and there are too many things that can be learnt from your travel and I have learnt a lot from this one. Oh.. how different people are and how Great Allah is for creating us and posting us to many different parts of the planet earth, experiencing different ways of life. Although we might look the same (being Asian), indeed we are different in many ways. Being there (Bandung & Jakarta) during the fasting month is an experience. Let me just write some lessons learnt and points to ponder upon and this mere sharing of knowledge and experience is a crucial thing in life.

(1) We have to be very grateful to Allah for his bounties and blessings.. how easy our lives are. When you look at how people have to struggle to get food on the table everyday..you just can't stop uttering "Alhamdulillah". You can see their struggle by looking at their faces and the various ways they get their pocket filled - they'll do just about anything.. like singing on the bus, helping drivers to park or turn, beg - one of the ways to beg is by just jumping on any stopped vehicle and beg people for money. The country is huge but perhaps, the corruption problem is also huge. Allah has promised victory for those who follow the religion well, and no religion teaches their followers to do bad – and indeed, Islam comes to perfect our conducts and if you deviate from Islam, you will indeed suffer. I hope those who are living comfortably over there are able to share part of their wealth with the needy. Being poor is one thing but being in poverty is another..and I saw serious poverty problem there!

(2) Be kind to travelers. The family that we stayed with - they are very good people. The husband built his own family business because he doesn't want to be involved with corruption. He is among the few who fear Allah, If only the rest of them realize..... or are they not strong enough to fight with their own nafs?? The family’s hospitability was incredible.. food was prepared for iftar and sahur right on the dot… I was not allowed to help. May Allah reward them with lots of Kindness and Mercy. Luckily I was there for only 3 days.. I really do not want to exhaust my host especially in the month of fasting when one has to increase his/her ibadah (like Quran reading, supplementary prayers etc.).

(3) Plan your shopping well... organize your money well. I did not! I put my money everywhere.. at last, I found unused Rpssss in another wallet when I am already home. Ahhhh! I sighed aloud! But then, I thought - perhaps Allah wanted to tell me that I had enough already. And not to spend too much on things I don't need. I might say they are my needs but Allah knows best and yes, indeed He knows! And I know it too that those are not what I need but what I desire ;-). In fact, when I was doing my chores, it struck my mind how lucky for those who live simple lives – with less clothes to manage, small area to clean and just a few worries in their head. Some of us have 3-story house to clean, 10 wardrobes of clothing to manage and a lot of wealth to worry about. Pity them!!! Well, I know they must have many servants ;-) Managing servants can be a headache too ;-0

(4) When you are there, you'll be tested with beggars - never chase them away or curse them cause Allah sent them to enable you to do good deeds and test you. You need to trust that Allah rewards in multi-folds when you give charity. If you don’t want to give them due to some reasons (perhaps security), go to a mosque and give your charity there instead to compensate – never miss the opportunity to give charity. You will see beggars from all walks of life.. old and young, healthy and unhealthy, able and disable… you name it. Well, we have beggars here too. May Allah help us to be more charitable and help them to find ways to help themselves too. Ameen.

(5) In all situation, when you travel.. keep yourself in good mood. If anything bad happen, have patience. Sometimes, impatience can kill.. kill your mood, I mean! So keep a positive mind and teach yourself to be more tolerant with difficulties. It is not easy to travel on foreign land.. with foreign money, eating foreign food, speaking foreign language.. but Allah creates people in different races/tribes so that you will get to know each other, right? So never look down on others.. .. only Allah knows who is better among us.

(6) Be careful.. keep your things safe. Don’t show others what you have or you might be in trouble – especially the highly valued items. You don’t know the place – so, it is better to play it safe. If you have an expensive camera, leave it. Just take an ordinary camera with you.

(7) Most importantly, watch your prayers and keep dua that you will be safe till you reach home. Prayers are the only thing that keeps you in touch with your Lord – you would love to have your celcom line to be available wherever you go.. so keep your line with Allah clear too! Don’t keep yourself busy with Dunia only.. (well,don’t think of it as a Dunia activity.. while you do shopping, you can buy presents for your family and friends) life should be a balance scale..remember? Also take your Quran with you.. if you can carry 2 or 3 loads of goodies, CAN you NOT carry a Quran… your life manual? Don’t leave home without it!!!

Let us all implore Allah to earnestly guide us all to the best and to reward us for whatever good deeds we do for His sake. Allah Almighty says: (Say (O Muhammad): Travel in the land and see how He originated creation, then Allah bringeth forth the later growth. Lo! Allah is Able to do all things)(Al-`Ankabut 29:20).

When we walk on planet earth now, we should be thinking of all the blessings that He bestowed upon us.. where are we heading and what we really need in life. We are travellers in a true sense - stopping for a while to collect some good things to carry along.. these good things that we have collected - how are we presenting them to Allah - with pride? If not, we better start being selective.. taking only the best with us.. as the plane cannot carry all the garbage you have - like I said, only the good ones. So when the pilot announce that we will be arriving soon, we all want to smile and say.. Yes, Allah - we are ready and eager to meet You!!! If only we ponder more and reflect. Wallahu'Alam. Allah knows best!