Amir's Birthday again.....

A few weeks back, you wrote a poem about your Swansea friends... I know you still miss them and thought that they are irreplaceable. To you, Liam will always be your best friend. I know Swansea to you is home sweet home. But open your heart.. you might find some more kindred spirits around! It is not so bad here...

Today is your 14th birthday – I have too many things to say to you but I don’t want to exhaust you…Today is a significant mark in your life – I believe all birthdays are good markings of our lives as they are indicators of opportunities Allah gives us to improve ourselves – more time, insya’Allah. As a mother, I always have my hopes and anxiety, watching my children grow especially at their tender young age can be exhausting but rewarding, of course. During these years, you should set your path…where you want to go and where you would like to be. For the unfortunates, Allah put barriers in their hearts where they cannot see what is right and what is wrong due to their own doings and their stubbornness to accept Allah’s commands. May Allah select us to be among those whom Allah loves and guides.

My son, Amir,
I wish you Happy Birthday! This year, you are no longer in an Islamic school – no more SMIH. That doesn’t mean we are bringing you up as a secular person – never! I know I should not take you away from that school but that was what you wanted, perhaps you don't like the idea of being away from us! I guess we don’t have any choice as I watched you getting depress and exhausted. I am doing my best to keep you safe and prepare you for a better future. There is nothing I would like to have more than to have my son understands Islam - be a knowledgeable person, have good influence and a role model for those your age.

When I look at your friends at SMIH, I know they are indeed your good friends. I am glad we celebrated your birthday again with them… Let me recap their advices when I asked them to say something to you. They said, Amir….
o Watch your prayers as they are pillars of Islam. Without them, you will collapse.
o Don’t forget your Duha prayers… (I remember how you used to call me around 11 to check whether or not I have done my Duha)
o Do your supplementary fasting… at least 3 days a month if not, Mondays and Fridays (you tried your very best to do your fasting every Monday and Friday.. I was afraid you might not be strong enough but you were).
o Do your Qiam (night prayer) as it takes you closer to Allah. I also remember when you were home last year, sometimes you would ask me to wake you up for night prayers)
o Be careful when you befriend girls… when there are only the two of you, the third is the devil. (I remember how you would always talk about this hadith… wala takrabuzzina….and tell me how your ustaz always reminds you all of the danger of it) .
o Obey your parents, be kind to them.. as they always want good things for you. (A few months at SMIH, you were showing a lot of progress.. you were very careful when you talk to me.. you were so gentle and obedient – I don’t mean you are no longer obedient but it is incredible how fast the improvements were).
o Be kind with people… in the class, do not disturb others. Always mind your manners.
o Most importantly, read the Quran a lot and learn Hadith as they provide guidance in our lives. Read and understand them and you’ll be safe. (When you came home from your hostel, you would ask me to read the arab style.. the right way of reading, you said).

I am sure you remember these advices. I hope these boys will always stay as your friends because I like them and I know they are the circles of friends you’ll be safe with… I know you miss SMIH but you hide it from me.

Amir, I don’t know what to plan for you now… I have so many ideas but time is against me… Going to a nearer school, you are always tired when you reach home. Perhaps the weather or may be because you feel lonely - there's only the three of us at home now. Please let me help you explore your potential because I know you are special. Please let me assist you to not waste your time like kids your age do – too much internet and TV are not good. I will help you if you let me… I love you and want the best for you, my son. Happy Birthday, love! May this year be filled with joy and happiness… and some kindred spirits to share them with you too….find good friends, my son! Always find good friends!

Mama

KNOCK! KNOCK!

5:30 am. There was a knock on the door. It's half an hour to Suboh and it's pounding hard. “It's time for tahajjud!”, it seems to say. Are you still sleeping when Allah promises at this hour that He will be there waiting for your prayers, awaiting you to beg Him….. and yet, you are still sleeping? Don’t you have enough sleep already? How many hours do you need? 8? You're such a baby… Coochy Coochy!! Up baby Up!!

Sleeping time is over! Don’t you know that Umar Abd Aziz, a pious leader of Islam spent his nights crying and praying to Allah in the middle of the night, – fear that he had not done enough within his power for the people under his leadership? In fact, he spent 200 rakaat everyday for solat nafil – just for the supplementary solat. Wasn’t that great? Shouldn’t we not fear of our commitments – that we have not given enough? We are still lazy to stand for prayers. And our prayers are full of thoughts, all the worldly affairs. With this, how can we stand tall in front of Him and his beloved prophet? Have we taste the sweetness of Iman that solat is the best time of the day and that we are always looking forward to talk to God?

Can we ever stand tall? What should we say… what can be our excuses? That the world is not like before! All these sophisticated technology – it is not suitable to apply Islamic values or sunnah! Our parents have not taught enough! Schools did not provide good Islamic education! Leaders were selfish and corrupted – blame them! We were busy with our responsibilities at work – they couldn’t do without us! Our boss gave us too much tasks that not only we had to spend so much time in the office, we had to bring them home! That the traffic was too much…by the time we reach home, prayer time was over! Can we not list 100 more excuses? Want me to go on? Oh my... can I not use these excuses?

So what is our stand? Are we ready for tahajjud? Are we not scared that we will be in these dark rooms underneath when none can help – not even our Mercedes, not our big screen LCD TV, not our fully decorated house, not our newly renovated kitchen, not our collectibles handbags, shoes .. or whatever baggage we have with us. None can help except our good deeds that we left – those good deeds that we thought was good for nothing… the food to the needy that kept them sleeping at night because their stomach aren’t empty like before, the help to a friend that took ages of our precious time but kept him smiling all day, those money donated to the orphans that worry us because the savings were lessen, the unneeded clothes to the earth-quake victims the kept them warm when they have lost their shelter and help tidy up our wardrobe…. and yet, you thought they were unrewarded! So all these can help lighten up our dark rooms – they won’t be dark anymore but in fact, they can be “gardens of delights”.

When I read the last poem by Imam Al-Ghazali, it motivates me – gives me hope that death can be beautiful, that we would be able to converse with the saints, that we would be able to rest from all these worldly affairs that tire us, a sleep prolonged…that death is life that surpasses all that we can dream of here. We should not be frightened when we think of Allah’s mercy and love because the ultimate happiness of our being is when we get to meet Him, our Lord, face to face. Subhanalllah!

Tahajjud is important for our souls – it is a must for those who want to have close relation with Allah. This is the time to converse with Him… softly. This is the time to beg Him, plead with him. Do you know that if you do it often enough, if one day you overslept, the angles will wake you up because he misses you?
 So what are you waiting for???

Knock! Knock! Is that the angle?

Allah Ta'ala says, addressing the prophet (pbuh), "O you wrapped in a cloth, Stand (in prayer) by night except a portion, half of it or a little less, or a little more, and recite the Quraan in measured tones. Soon shall we send down to you a weighty message. Truly the rising by night is most potent for governing the soul, and most effective in speech [of praises and prayer]. [73:1-6]