For one thing, i realize that his english is exceptionally better. So much better that i am amazed. He now likes to correct whenever i did any mistake .. grammar, pronunciation especially. But for many other malays kids all over UK, these are the advantages they got being here. And as parents, we should learn from them. It is difficult to admit your mistakes from your own kids but this is life... One day, i told my son that it is enough. He doesn't have to correct me every time but then he said, "But ma, you told me to correct you, remember?." So I accepted my mistakes and listen to him.. But that doesn't mean i lose control. No, we as parents will never lose control with our kids.. they are our children and we have power over them. But that doesn't mean that we are right all the time.. so we do listen and in fact, we have to listen to their worries, their fears, their discomfort and try to understand them.
Today, i received a guest at my house. She was crying.. having problem at home. I do have many friends around here... and some are very close to me too. I like having friends from different nationalities.. well, most of them are born here but they consider themselves as mauritaus, Bangoli, Pakistani... whatever.. in the most important thing is that we are all from planet Earth. Back to my story, she has problem at home with her parents. Her parents are very strict and as a teenager in UK, it is difficult to fit in and at the same time, adhere to the old culture. Yes, their parents were brought up that way and as parents, we can be too protective at times not thinking that we are actually making them think that they cannot be trusted. There should be a give and take here.. as children, they need to meet friends, socialize in islamic ways. We brought them up and tell them the islamic values and so, we should be able to trust them in some extent. But what should i tell her?? Her parents were wrong?? No - parents are just parents. I can't tell her that her parents were wrong.. I give her many choices to try but it seems like she said she already tried those. So she has to be strong and be patient. Probably she has to show some maturity so that the parents can trust her and be less strict. Yes, whatever happens, we need to look at our own mistake first. Self reflection is the best solution for anything .. Whenever something gone wrong, look at our own selves first. May be we have not done enough to deserve some freedom. May be!
Most important, this incident made me think? How am i as a mother? How about my children or my daughters? What do they think of me?.. Yes, we do have conflict at times.. but i do hope i have done them just over all these years. I very much adore my children. My two daughters are just marvelous. They are excellent students.. i never have to tell them to go read their books because they do it anyway. So alhamdulillah, i thank Allah for what He has given me.. and my son.. of course, boys are not like girls. With him, i have to say, stop watching TV, stop playing your game, stop this and that.. time for your book... Well! i guess it is ok... boys will be boys, like they all say.
He can be very funny too - one time when i was rearranging my room and put my desk so that it will be very near to my bed, he said "Wow, that is lazy... i even have to exercise my eyes when i watch the TV". They way he said that, I can't be angry but laugh! He is funny sometime. He has many jokes which he likes to tell now and then. One thing he really likes is to say... "Oh, i know what 10 x 10 is!!! We don't understand why he really likes this 10 x 10 thingy.. he would say that in many different ways ..
He is a big boy now but we are too busy most of the time that we feel like we have not been there for him much. One time he went to the environment center and that night we went somewhere. While we were in the car, we have to listen to him about this environment thing.. like he said, do you know why this plastic bag .. this and that... and he went on and on about environment. It is good that the children learn things from school coz i know that if i were to tell him all these things, he might not be that interested.
Well, i just want to write about all these is to cherish these moments... one day i will look back to these days and say.. remember the time when.... ??? We say this all the time when it comes to memories of our children. When my daughters were younger, they sometimes like to act. One time they act following the movie "Pengantin Popular". They watched the movie so many times that they can remember the script. So we even make a video of them acting. Those were the good old days.
I have to go back to my writing now.. it is too time consuming to write about your life... imagine the pen of Allah which wrote about our decree... every second of our lives are recorded. Amazing... and we took so much effort just to write too little. Subhanallah. May Allah help us in all our good efforts and keep us in His path. Ameen.
