A Long and Winding Road....

When Alice in Wonderland reached a cross road, she asked the wise owl, “Which way should I take?”. The wise owl asked Alice, “Where do you wanna go, Alice?”. Alice said, “I don’t know”. Then the wise owl replied, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you can take any path you want”.

In life, we often reach crossroads where we don’t know which road to take. Life comes with many uncertainties and this is where the beauty lies. If everything goes as planned and all happenings in life are predictable, I bet many of us would just die of boredom.

It was still vivid in my mind when I came to a point in my life when I just don’t know what to do and which path should I take. Being parents, we always want to do everything within our might for our children. But this one time is a bit too far beyond my reach. The dilemma was, should I send my daughter to Medical School?  The issue was not only about medical school but sending a child to medical school without any sponsorship means substantial financial implication that we wouldn’t be able to bear. This happened 5 years ago and tonight, everything was so crystal clear.

One evening I heard from Sheikh Abdullah Yaseen in our class that reading the holy Quran is the solution to any muslim’s problem. Be it a mathematical problem, financial problem or anything at all. All you need is to have trust in Allah who has the knowledge of what is best for everyone. I prayed to Allah to send me a sign – a way out, to give an instinct in my heart on what to do next at this crossroad – like what a mother should have.

A few days back, we went to Leeds – to look for an opportunity for a scholarship from any organization at all. My daughter had a bag packed with her clothes, all ready for her registration at Leed University Medical School. It was a mixed feelings when we went because I know that there was a high possibility of not getting what we hoped for – a scholarship. Before even register, we met several university officers and talked about the possibility of getting any scholarship but to no avail. She had an offer letter in her hands but without any financial support, it seemed impossible. Five years of medical school in the UK is the cost of a huge bungalow in Kuala Lumpur, which I could not afford. I don’t want living my life paying debts. After making sure that there was no way to get any means for financial support, we had to leave Leeds. It was heart wrenching to see my daughter carrying her bag back onto the car and off we went back to Swansea.

That morning in Swansea, I read the holy Quran before going to my research lab - hoping that Allah will show me what is best. I always look at what happened as a sign from the Lord. I once was asked by an AFS son from Germany what makes me think of all the happenings as signs and what if they are not. I told him that everything that happens around us is never a coincidence. They all happen for some good reasons. How can we say the Big Bang was a coincidence? The movement of the planets around the sun – they are all precise calculations of the Creator. So how can everything else around them be regarded as coincidence – They are nothing but precise calculations too.  With this understanding, I learnt to put meanings into everything that happened in my life. With this trust in the precise calculations of my Creator, I learnt to trust Him. I had this trust all along and this is how I gained my strength in life.

After reading the Quran, I went to my research lab and opened my email as my daily routine. There it was – a mail from a very good friend in Malaysia. He knew my dilemma. He told me to send my daughter to medical school without thinking twice. He said, when it comes to his children, any sacrifices are all worth it. I knew my daughter might get her scholarship in later years, but I was scared that we would be turned down. One can never tell the future and the risk was too high. With this encouragement, I suddenly realize that perhaps, that was the answer to my uncertainty. We had a discussion and after a few days, we were back in Leeds, registering her for Medical School. We gather what we had to pay for the fees and indeed, we had enough, Alhamdulillah.  We had enough for the first year of Med School fee. We dare not think of her second year or the next few years’s. But at that time, I only want to take one step at a time. We received many words of encouragement from friends and we were so happy and proud to be able to send her to Med School.

The second year, we appealed for scholarship and the Malaysian government agreed to pay for her fees. It was good enough for us. With our own PhD scholarship and some working hours, we send her monthly allowance and I believe she was able to live comfortably. The third year, we appealed again for full scholarship and we even sent a letter to the Prime Minister. My mom in Malaysia was amazed to receive a reply from the Prime Minister’s office. We wrote several letters to many others too. That year, she received a full scholarship. We were on cloud nine… I can’t  begin to express my happiness when I heard after the scholarship meeting that our application pulled through. May Allah reward them for their kindness in accepting our application.

We were so relieved at that time. Our daughter was able to study without any worries after that. It was indeed a long ordeal but Alhamdulillah, we were so grateful with all the hurdles that we had to jumped in order to get to the finishing line.

Tonight, she was on the other side of the world and we were on Yahoo messenger.  We waited for her final year exam result. It was announced online. The moment she told us that she passed, we were indeed very grateful. The feeling was indescribable. Everything that we had gone through in order to put her to medical school came rushing back to my head. Indeed it is a great feeling of success. I put my head on the ground in prostration, thanking Allah for everything.

That crossroad took us to a good spot now. There is still a long and winding road ahead for this young doctor but we are grateful that the path to take is clearer now. It is up to her now to run or to walk. We had done our part. We make doa that the road that lies ahead is not so crooked and not too bumpy. May Allah help us to persevere and keep these children of ours to be strong and be able to share and assist those who are passing through that same long and winding road in whatever way they can. Indeed, life would be meaningful if you can benefit others around you. Being there at that crossroad made you realize that taking chances can lead to success if you are really determined, insya’Allah. If the road you take is long and winding, keep your heads high and set your goal clear… when you know where you want to go, half of the difficulties are taken care of. That long and winding road might be the best path of your life.

Allah says in the Quran,….

“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones” (Quran 2:155)“.