Islamic Hijri Calendar

New Year is here

The new year is here.. 2009 and at the same time, the new Islamic year was celebrated about 10 days ago. It is already 10th of Muharam and many are fasting today. I believe everyone wants goodness but we simply forgot ourselves sometime - who we are and where we are going. Isn't it  sad to look back when the past memories are not so proud to remember. Well, we need to look at the past mistakes as a motivation to correct ourselves. Even small error that we do, we need to reflect because these small errors will not stay small - they'll grow if we are not careful enough.

So can we have a few small things that we promise to do for ourselves as Allah said, if you do good, you do good to yourself and if you do bad deeds, you do bad against your own self. So what are the small things that we can promise ourselves that is good to share....

(i) Pray on time. Virtues are showered differently according to time and day. I heard from a very reliable source that during the early praying time, all the goodness in terms of time is there. When we pray early, the goodness will be ours and it will lessen as time progresses. That is why we are urged to pray early, to wait on the prayer mat for the call. I remember a close friend in Germany who was close to my husband. My husband likes to travel and invited him to come along. He said he doesn't feel comfortable as he likes to be on the prayer mat when the prayer time comes. We all should adopt this habit! 

(ii) Give charity every day... if you see an old man cycling a trishaw who looks very poor and tired.. why don't you give him a tenner (RM10). See how he reacted. It should put a smile on his face. Or a boy walking along a street going to school... give him a RM1, he should be smiling all day!

(iii) Pay for your friends meal at least once a week. If you go with a friend, pay for him/her. It doesn't make you poorer. Remember that Allah will return a manifold.  I remember Sheikh Mohsen of Swansea mosque.. whenever we have anyone throwing a meal for everyone (like akikah or anything at all), he would make a prayer that the person will not left hungry in the day of judgement.

(iv) Be kind. Do small kindness everyday - let it be taking a friend to the market, buying your mom her prune juice, lending a friend some money etc. You never know that small kindness might mean the world to them.

(v) As a muslim, we should be environment friendly. Print less paper.. if you can recycle, do it. ANything that is worth recycling, keep and put it separately. This earth is an AMANAH and we have to keep it clean and safe. The western people are very careful about this... I remember when I was in Swansea, it amazed me to see how much time they take segregating their waste items - papers/magazines/furnitures/woods/plastics.. etc. I remember I read about a woman who was a teacher - She had only like 1 bag of garbage every month. What she did was recycling almost everything.. she will make sure the toothpaste tube is squeezed thoroughly and then cut it to make sure there's really nothing inside because the container is not bio-degradable. Whatever she can reuse in the kitchen, she would keep for later... 

(vi) Don't condemn people... try to think what others do that is bad as a test from Allah. Speak less and learn from others. People who likes to condemn others usually thinks highly of themselves.. they think they are better than most. This is bad. I am reminding myself, actually!

(vii) Read lots of quran.. it should solve your daily problem... whatever problem you have, quran will give the solution... 

(viii) Praise Allah by saying subhanallah, alhamdulillah and allahu akbar all the time whenever or wherever you are. Sheikh Anwar Alawlaki once asked his students to think what are the things robbers like to steal from a house... of course, smallest things, easiest to carry and high in value. Tasbih to Allah are like those things.. they are easy to do, you can do while walking, jogging, cooking .. anywhere and wherever you are, does not cost anything (only repeating with your tongue) AND the most important is that it is high in value in the sight of Allah. I heard that for each tasbih, Allah will plant a tree in jannah for you. Easy? So let's do it!

(ix) Be kind. Do small kindness everyday - let it be taking a friend to the market, buying your mom her prune juice, lending a friend some money etc. You never know that small kindness might mean the world to them.

Hopefully we can all do these small things ... isn't it good to start small??? 

One day, you will thank me, insya'Allah!

It is not easy to send someone you love away... in life, you will have to do this over and over again. If you have children, you just need to get used to it. December went very fast.. the new year is here and this year will past us in the same manner, I'm sure. I was enjoying myself having Kak Long at home.. and sometimes having my nieces at home is a blessing too.. it makes the house seems livelier. We are not a big family, so when even when one child is away.. you feel the effect. But it seems like today is different. I woke up with no children around me at all. Where's my baby? 

Amir is away. We sent him to a good islamic school yesterday.  Since the school is far away, he had to stay in the hostel. Of course, he gave lots of excuses and persuade us not to send him there. But I told myself that I cannot entertain him this time. We need to help him!

It is not easy for Amir to adapt to Malaysian life. It is quite unusual when you think about it. When Malaysian children are brought to UK, they did not find difficulties in adapting to the new environment.. which is totally new to them. People are different in many ways there... the culture, the language, the way of life, the values.. but kids did not find these things too difficult to accept. They almost instantly blend in. Most of the kids I know enjoy school, they find teachers are nice and helpful - so they don't complain - not really. 

Now when these Malaysian kids come back to their old environment.. their own country, their own people.. surrounded by people who speak their own language, they find it difficult to adapt. They feel uneasy.. if possible, they want to go back to UK. They want their UK school, their UK friends, their UK teachers.. Why is that?

When I listen to similar stories of how Malaysian children find difficulties to adapt, I can understand because I have observed Amir.. it is quite a psychological thing for them to come back. I describe the analogy is like you gave a child a game.. they will take time to learn how to play the game.. they find it amazing, play it well, enjoy it so much and once they are addicted to it, you take it away. Is it not fair? No.. you cannot talk about fair or unfair in this situation. You have to teach children to be grateful - to understand that in life, things happen and you have to accept the decree of Allah. We cannot control everything. This that are beyond our control is what Allah's has decreed and whatever Allah decreed is the best for us. 

Like Saidina Ali r.a. said, if we can open up the scroll of decree in front of our eyes, we will not want to change a thing. This is the concept of Redha.. willingness to accept the decree and at the same time, striving for the best in life.

I have heard a friend's child screaming on top of his voice outside his house, "I wanna go back!!" How do you think a mother would feel like.. When a child is hurt, a mother is in greater pain. Amir did not scream - he did not cry. But even when he was sitting quietly at one corner of a lake nearby, looking very far and thinking - I can feel his pain. I understand what he was going through. When he was asked to write an essay about himself, he wrote in English and translated - he said, "I feel bored. I can't play skateboard anymore.. " - actually he wanted to say that he missed his friends. He used to skateboard down the Brynmill road with his buddies.. Liam, Bradley, Lee.. and many more. He used to hang around the Brynmill park, playing with his friends. Even sister Saedah (my mauritiaus sister) who live beside the park, misses Amir. She said, when she passed the park, she can visualise Amir there with his friends. They used to pass by her house... giving salam to her! She adores Amir as she doesn't have any son. She said one day, "Amir, you are my son.. come to my house anytime you like... ". And when I went back to Swansea lone last October, I feel sad walking along the Brynmill park watching the children playing there. I feel like I saw him there.. so I stayed there watching the kids playing football... there was so much emotion. At that instance, I know how much he wanted to be back!

We have to look at our future. Don't look back! These were exactly my words to Amir. I told him to think about his future. We are sending him to the new school, new environment so that he will not be left behind. If he always think about going back to UK, it will not do any good to him. I asked him to look at the group of boys in front of him.. i told him these boys will be great leaders... they will be engineers, doctors, researchers... they can be whatever they want to be, insya'Allah. I want him to be among them. I want him to be among the excellent people, so that he can be great too. He has all the potential but nothing can happen if he stays in front of the TV all day or internetting all day long. You cannot throw away your life like that. We have to shape up or shape out.

When I hugged Amir before we go, I can feel his love. There is no doubt about him loving us so much.. we are everything to him, my baby. But he cannot stay as my baby forever. He has to grow up. He has to think about his future. (Must be scary for kids to think about their future and the uncertainties of life.. ) 

So when I left Amir, I told him that one day he will thank me for this. That is what I told him and myself too. I saw in his eyes that he wanted to believe that too. He remind me to come every week and so we promised. We left him smiling and perhaps, deep inside, anxious! I told him I love him and will do whatever in my power for his own good, insya'Allah.

On my way back on the highway, i feel like it was only yesterday I was sending Kak Long and Liyana to boarding school. I remember how Liyana was happy and adapting well with her friends. Kak Long on the other hand, was a bit sad whenever we left because her school was very far away. Now they are finishing universities but still, it seems like yesterday...

While I was on my thoughts, I received a call from my brother. He already sent my nephew, Hafis- a 13yr old -  to a madrasah. We had to send him very far, up north.. in the middle of nowhere for some good reasons. My brother told me when he left, the boy cried a bit - perhaps anxious and uncertain of the new environment.. being a stranger is difficult for little boys. I asked my brother if he give him a hug. Yes he did... So I guess Hafis has to learn to adapt just lke Amir .. they both will be going through the same process.. in different situations.

So today I woke up with a mixed feeling - happy that the children seems to do well but at the same time, missing them all. I remember what Amir said when we were shopping for his things - he said, we are losing our family. We are all separated.. I assured him that we are not losing our family... this is life.. you cannot have everyone by your side all the time. You cannot be together everyday.. but we are all together in our hearts. I smile to him but it is really sad to hear him say that. I wonder how those great people of Islam were sent to study the Quran to far away land by their parents. They had to travel on foot, some took months to reach. Now we have cars to drive along the highway.. take only hours. Still we feel guilty sending them to become better muslims.. Our children are happy at home with us. They don't want to go away. But perhaps we can continue the legacy?? Perhaps these are sacrifices that Allah will reward us for.. when it is done for all the right reasons.

Amir.. I hope you are doing well and that one day, you will really thank me for this. In the mean time, you have to be strong. We cannot get everything we wanted in life.. we have to strive. And once we put effort, Allah will help us... and so He promised. Prayers are answered for those who wait. So pray well and strive well. We love you so much. So Kak Long and Kak Ngah! We are all praying for you. May Allah's blessings and grace be with you.. May He reward you well and help you to adapt. May He be please with your effort and ours too. May He grant us all jannatul Firdaus - a better place than what we have here... the best HOME for us all. 

So, all the best, my dear baby!