Good bye, My beloved sister!

Saying goodbye is never easy. Let alone saying it for good... to someone who is close to you... a sister.

It was yesterday, Wednesday night, May 26, when the sad news came to me. My elder sister passed away, leaving 6 children – she was the 4th in the family. There were 9 of us.. now, only 8 left. I watched the proceedings and all those while, I was saying to myself.. this is the end of us. What are we searching for in life?? Comfort? Wealth? Position? Power? All those will be left behind.. leaving you with the white cloth wraped around your naked stiffed body.

I watched her laying there…there was only white coverings...all tightly wrapped. It felt sad .. I remember her smile.. her laughter.. her jokes..... her eyes... We were close. We were like buddies when we were young. She used to bring me my lunch box when I was in secondary school. She was always helpful, generous, happy, kind… as a child, she was very adventurous..I must say. She was in a play once in a big hall in our town .. her role was a troublesome tomboy….I think she loved that role.. I still remember that day.. she wore the red jeans! I wore the jeans when it fitted me years later.

We shared many great moments together - good and bad too. There were too many memories.. they all rushed into my head as I watched her… I miss her so much. We have not seen each other that much. I was very busy with my work.. she stopped working for sometime due to her deteriorating health. Knowing that too didn’t caused me to visit her that often.. There were so many things I wished I had done for her..

The night when she passed away.. I was thinking of her. She usually call just to say ‘hi’. Perhaps she was thinking of us before she went. We were all there… all 8 of us and our mom. I don’t know how my mom felt. Her sadness must be different than ours. When I looked at the children, I can’t help myself feeling sorry for them.. but Allah is most Merciful Most Kind.. who are we to feel sorry… They have gone through a lot. Their father passed away 4 years ago. I was in UK then. When we were leaving the house, the youngest, 8 years old, cried… he must have felt insecure.. not having his mom around. I wrapped my arms around him but I don’t know what to say.. I can’t say that everything will be alright… as it won’t for sometime. He had to deal with the fact that his mom will not be there anymore. They were very close .. I remember the time when I visited them.. he did the ”story-telling” in front of us.. his mom was coaching him – looking proud at her youngest son. Abdullah is indeed a smart boy with bright eyes and cheeky smile. Then I rewarded him and he was so happy.

I watched the end of my sister… when the soil were flattened and there was no sign of her anymore. The ‘talkin’ was recited and we listened with our hearts. We were told the meaning of life.. that everything was just temporary and the ultimate, is our Lord. Her name was called upon to tell her what was expected to happen…but indeed the note was meant for us. We waited there until everything was over. That was indeed the end of a person - a sister whom I loved so much- Hamidah. As I stepped away from her grave, my mind was with her.. what was in store for her.. She was indeed a kind and generous person but still, she must be scared, being left alone there without her family around.. we can't do anything but pray..

‘O Allah, forgive and have mercy upon her, excuse her and pardon her, and make honorable her reception. Expand her entry, and cleanse her with water, snow, and ice, and purify her of sin as a white robe is purified of filth. Exchange her home for a better home, and her family for a better family, and her spouse for a better spouse. Admit her into the Garden, protect her from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the Fire.’

‘O Allah, forgive our living and our dead, those present and those absent, our young and our old, our males and our females. O Allah, whom amongst us You keep alive, then let such a life be upon Islam, and whom amongst us You take unto Yourself, then let such a death be upon faith. O Allah, do not deprive us of her reward and do not let us stray after her’.

‘O Allah, my sister, Hamidah is under Your care and protection so protect her from the trial of the grave and torment of the Fire. Indeed You are merciful and truthful. Forgive and have mercy upon her, surely You are The Oft-Forgiving, The Most-Merciful’.

As I recited my doa while leaving, my tears were rolling down my cheeks. I had to say good bye ... I love you, sis and will always do. You will always be in my heart, insya’Allah.




The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) says,'Surely the heart rusts like iron.' People inquired, 'How can it be polished?' He (s.a.w.s.) said, 'By remembering death and with the recitation of Quran.' (Nahjul Fasahah)
“…verily, the death from which you run away, will, surely, overtake you & will send you back to the Knower of the visible & invisible things & He will then inform you of what you used to do.” (Q. 62:8)